Why Does Getting Angry Feel Good???

Food for thought….

Let’s be honest, we all have the capacity to “lose it“ at times. Even the seemingly more unassuming amongst us (and I’m not describing myself here!), can feel the heat rising on occasions, resulting in perhaps

💣an explosion of emotion

💣rant

💣a grotty day

💣low mood

💣possibly a headache

💣maybe even feelings of guilt

Yet, still it happens.

So what’s wrong with getting angry?

Well nothing really…. I mean, from an evolutionary perspective, ALL emotions are appropriate in certain circumstance.

Anxiety can drive us to step up in performance…

Sadness can lead to support from others when required…

And yes, even anger can be helpful. Cathartic, healing, dare I say, beneficial.

So if you feel uncomfortable about your own anger, or that of someone close to you, it’s more likely an issue of frequency, severity and/or resolution capability.

Let’s look at each of these.

Frequency

Is anger something you experience on a daily basis? Have you gotten used to feeling pent up, tense or snappy? Anger can be an excellent mask for deeper, more vulnerable feelings. It can be way more comfortable, for example, to express anger than share our insecurities or fears.

Severity

If you find you fly off the handle over fairly innocuous events, it might be an indicator of unresolved tensions that are waiting just under the surface, to be triggered. This can cause our anger to appear unreasonable, and the bigger problem to remain hidden and unresolved.

Resolution

We all have the capacity to lose our cool, but do you feel able to apologise, reflect, and potentially correct your actions IF you feel they were undeserved or disproportionate? If not, could it be linked to feelings of not having appropriate control over some element in your life?

👌 If any this resonates, you might find it helpful to keep a diary of your mood or outbursts. You may be surprised at the patterns that emerge.

👌 Remember, It’s in our nature to protect ourselves, and anger can “help” us to do this.

👌 Be patient and curious with yourself.

👌Check in with yourself and ask what’s under the surface of those outbursts.

Be kind and forgive yourself… and if need be, seek support.