Go on, be honest, do you find you absorb other people’s negativity pretty easily? Is your gut reaction to a person‘s bad mood, to wonder if it’s something you’ve done?
Funny isn’t it, that we’re so quick to assume the role of villain; to take the blame, to accept we may have caused as upset...?
Our personal behaviour is very much based on our own fears, anxieties, expectations, values and experiences. We know this.
~ If we’re prone to jealousy, chances are, those close to us will experience this, manifested in our behaviour.
~ If we’re fearful of not being valued at work, there’s every likelihood this may play out in how we respond to other people’s successes.
~ Insecure about how you look? Is it possible this is apparent in our approach to those we admire?
So... we recognise that our behaviour is a result of our thoughts and beliefs. So, why is it so hard to recognise this applies to everybody else too?! Why are we so quick to question if it’s something we’ve said or done?
It’s in our make-up to look for problems; recognise potentially vulnerable situations. We’re fearful in nature (even the bravest amongst us). It’s part of our drive to survive. But we can work on our resilience and make positive thinking more habitual.
Whether you have a mardy boss, an insecure partner, a needy friend or an angry neighbour... IT IS UNLIKELY TO BE PREDOMINANTLY DOWN TO YOU! Even if you seem to be the person that’s triggered a negative response, it‘s still no reflection on you.
A person’s attitude or behaviour is a result of a well embedded and conditioned set of beliefs and values that belong to them. We can all allow other people’s behaviour to create self-doubt at times, BUT, unless you‘ve gone out of your way to be unkind, insensitive or downright cruel, you are not responsible.
You are in control of you - your thoughts, your behaviour, your language, your worries.
Anyone else‘s behaviour.... Seriously, what’s it got to do with you??
NOT YOUR CIRCUS, NOT YOUR MONKEYS.
Be kind, empathetic and understanding to others, of course.... but also, to you.
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