Talking about self-worth, self-acceptance and creating positive change with clients, prompts me to challenge myself on how I address my own thought patterns, behaviours, fears and mindset.
A client asked me yesterday, “so what do you have planned that will relax you, motivate you or bring you joy this week?” Wow! The homework I’d set for this client was being reflected right back at me.
I checked my diary and was pleased (and a little relieved to be honest ) to find I had it pretty well covered, BUT, it really made me reflect on whether I pay enough attention to my needs and my priorities. So I put myself to the test... Does my life reflect everything I advocate and believe in?
I’m a big promoter of NOT seeking happiness. Yup, you read that right. When I ask people what happiness looks like, they tend to describe sunshine, smiles, carefree activities... sounds life a fortnight in Cyprus to be honest. Whilst that sounds lovely, most of us can’t be on a permanent holiday. Happiness, it seems to me, requires something external to influence our mood.
I advocate seeking 3 things to bring about a real sense of inner confidence and fulfilment
👉 moments of joy - the capacity to recognise and appreciate the small pleasures 👉 meaningful connections - could be with your partner, family, dog, faith, friend
👉 a sense of purpose - an understanding of our value and acting on this
Well, the pictures above tell a story.
The picture on the left is from circa 4 years ago. I was financially very comfortable, frequently taking breaks, dining out, held a senior position in a large corporate, could buy nice things. I was pretty “happy” with all these positive things happening. BUT I was also exhausted, sometimes anxious, questioning my capability, searching for meaning, conscious of my weight and poor fitness.
The picture on the right was taken this month. You’ll notice the lack of make up (and hairbrush even!), I’m much fitter and healthier, more relaxed in myself and delighted to have nowhere to rush off to because I’ve given myself the whole afternoon to be with my partner and grandson.
So, how do I think I‘m fairing in terms of living my truth?
🚀 moments of joy - I have the capacity and time to recognise the small things
🚀 meaningful connections - I found a beautiful relationship once I got comfortable with me
🚀 a sense of purpose - I listened to my gut; re-qualified and totally transformed my career
❗️I still set myself more chores than necessary.
❗️I still don’t always find it easy to relax.
❗️I still have moments of self doubt.
I’m giving my self a B+, and I’m pretty happy with that! Want to make a change? You’ve got this. And, I’ve got you....