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Let them be...

Sounds easy enough right? Just let people be themselves..

No drama. No interference. Just acceptance.

I mean it's probably exactly what we'd like from others too. Total and complete acceptance.

So why is it so hard to do?

If someone you truly care about, repeatedly behaves in a way that you find uncomfortable, hurtful, or even offensive, what do you tend to do?

Do you complain, keep trying to correct them, express your disapproval, tell them they're hurting you and HOPE they change their ways?

Maybe you've even found yourself giving ultimatums?

Well, the truth is that when you really and truly LET THEM BE, one thing is going to happen for sure

you're going to see the real person

and if someone shows you their true colours - you better believe them!

Really letting someone be who they truly are, without trying to control, or dare I say, manipulate their behaviour, means truly seeing who they are. The good, the bad and the ugly. So it's a risk. You may be faced with a difficult decision.... Maybe that's why it can be hard to do.

Allowing someone to be their true self is a healthy and honest way to conduct any kind of close relationship.

Setting healthy boundaries within your relationships can help to avoid repeated, cyclical arguements and situations. It's the difference between saying

"this is what I want you to do...." and

"this is what's right for me...."

Having healthy boundaries means valuing your own opinion, respecting your values and being comfortable with sharing your wants and needs. Healthy boundaries are set around our own desires and limitations rather than other peoples behaviour, which is great news as lets be honest, we're only truly in control of ourselves.

So if you find yourself in a bit of a loop with someone, wishing they'd change, or perhaps trying to nudge their language or behaviour... see if you can

* step back

* let go

* see the real person

If you'd like to discuss how to put better boundaries in place, or how to let go of unhealthy patterns, I'm here to help.

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