We all experience the very same event completely differently! Think about that for a moment....
You have no idea what a particular shade of blue really looks like to anyone else.
You can’t know how a piece of fruit tastes to another person.
... and you CAN’T know how they experienced an event you seemingly shared.
It seems particularly strange then, that we can become so preoccupied with other people’s thoughts, opinions and impressions of us.
How often have you come away from a meeting, family event or social gathering and spent time reflecting on what other people MIGHT be thinking or how they MIGHT be feeling?
Maybe you’ve replayed your actions, your conversations or your behaviour and started to imagine how this made other people feel or think about you.
This isn’t uncommon behaviour BUT in truth, has little value.
As humans we’re prone to procrastination and self doubt; it all stems from our most primitive fears
Extinction—our very survival! Our fear of no longer being in existence
Mutilation—the fear of losing any part of our precious bodily structure; Anxiety about animals, spiders, snakes etc sit here
Loss of Autonomy—the fear of being immobilised in some way, losing control. Claustrophobia falls into this category as do social phobias or agoraphobia
Separation—the fear of abandonment, rejection, and not belonging. A profound fear with wide reaching impacts
Ego-death—the fear of humiliation, shame, being unloveable. This often manifests in terms of low self worth and imposter syndrome
So, we have fears - it’s part of human nature.
We care what others think - it’s nice to be popular.
But it important to recognise that YOUR opinion of you is the one that counts most. Getting comfortable with being you, and all that being you means, is a game changer in terms of emotional freedom. This is the key positive self esteem, self acceptance and self assurance.
If you find yourself procrastinating on someone else’s thoughts. STOP! You’ll never truly know ... even if they tell you a version, its just that, a version... their version. We are unique, we experience everything through the lens of our past, our values, our worries, our perceptions. And so does everyone else.
Just do you, you’re perfect at it!
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