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IS IT OK TO WALLOW? (the answer’s yes!)

Updated: Feb 22

I mean, it’s not a recommendation for a lifestyle, but it has its value, every now and then...😊


Ever find yourself wallowing in self pity, sadness or even despair?


Ever heard that little voice inside your head saying “For goodness sakes, get a grip! There are loads of people worse off than you!”?


Did it help??? Nope, probably not...


We attach such a lot of negativity to the idea of wallowing in our feelings; it seems unproductive and unhelpful, and not exactly the kind of thing other people want to be around. It’s true, by definition it’s a fairly sedentary and individual activity. But it also has purpose.

Now as you know, I’m a huge advocate for taking positive action when unwanted thoughts bring us to a point of despair or anxiety, BUT that doesn’t mean we should dismiss ALL uncomfortable feelings out of hand.


Far from it.

A good wallow is a damn site better than ignoring those feelings all together. Suppression can keep those emotions under the surface for much longer, ready to be triggered by the smallest event, comment or thought.

In fact, it’s “inattention” to uncomfortable feelings that tends to result in them being prolonged or worsening. The very act of accepting that you’re in pain or suffering in some way will only serve to lessen it; Think about the last time you felt deeply wounded by a person or an event, but chose to pretend you were fine. It’s awful!

A boost to self confidence can prove to be a surprising upside of allowing yourself to “sit” with your discontentment too. Self confidence is predicated on self-acceptance, therefore if you can get comfortable with ALL your feelings, especially the most despairing, you really are accepting your whole self.


When you accept your own capacity and entitlement to have a good wallow once in a while, you’re much more likely to be open to deep emotional connections. We simply cannot be positive all the time, we must give ourselves, and therefore others, full permission to embrace all feelings, in order to truly work through them and feel more optimistic again.


So wallowing is ok. It’s not a permanent fixture. It’s a moment in time, as important as all the others.

Don’t ignore your pain

👌Acknowledge it

👌Accept it

👌Move through it


However, If you have been feeling truly “stuck” in negativity and would like to talk, please get in touch.

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