It's good to know there are people who care; friends and family that are there for us through the darkest of times, BUT in reality, our thoughts can be so blurred, tired and sad at such times...the last thing we want to do is open up to anyone.
The very thought of releasing all of those jumbled emotions, potentially sounding unhinged, paranoid or overwhelmed can leave us feeling exposed and vulnerable. It's part of the human condition to steer away from vulnerability; We fear being seen as weak.
The truth is it takes real strength of character to acknowledge our powerful, negative emotions and thought patterns. So how do we get from "feeling helpless" to "overcoming our fear of judgement". Much of the time, we simply don't. How many time have you relayed a tale of woe to friends AFTER it's been resolved in some way or you've worked through it on your own?
That situation when your partner let you down.
That mortifying dressing down at work.
That time you inadvertently upset a friend.
That weekend you spent hollering at the kids in frustration.
We can let our fear of what others think, stop us from reaching out for much needed support. This can spiral into a cycle of negative thoughts around our sense of personal value, our capability, how we compare to others. So, what's the solution?
Recognise the signs - just getting in touch with how you're feeling is key. We get so used to managing stress and anxiety that we assume we can handle anything
Write it out -
what's the problem?
what's the associated fear (failure/abandonment etc)?
what do you really want to happen?
what's next? (what steps will you take to achieve the outcome you want)
We all experience challenges that feel somehow just too big to tackle. We can often wonder how we'll ever cope. But here you are, a survivor.
When people say "I'm here to talk", it's because they know how it feels to try to handle a big problem or challenge alone. The darkness can seem a little less scary when someone is metaphorically holding your hand.
For more information on coping with a worried mind, please get in touch.
I'M HERE TO TALK.